Friday, May 12, 2017

Adjusting to Motherhood

Becoming a mom is a beautiful, amazing gift from God. Knowing that for nine months, you kept your baby safe, nourished him or her in order to sustain life, and prepared for a lifetime of giggles, smiles, and tons of memories. 

You go into labor, deliver your baby, and are then handed this precious life – a baby who knows nothing other than the warmth of your body and the sound of your heartbeat. You’re given a few days of recovery in the hospital and then released into the world of motherhood, with the assumption that everything is going to be perfect. 

But wait – where does it say that life with a newborn baby has to be perfect? Where does it say that you aren’t allowed to cry, that you aren’t allowed to second guess yourself as a mother? Where does it say that your whole day will be smiles and moments of perfection? 

Did you know that May is Maternal Mental Health Awareness month?
Did you know that Maternal Mental Health disorders impact 15-20% of pregnant women and postpartum women?
Did you know that 600,000 women each year in the United States suffer from depression, anxiety, or OCD?

As a new mom, you’re sleep deprived, emotional, and are trying to find the balance between life as it was before you brought home that sweet baby to a new kind of “normal” as you adjust to everything that comes your way. 

As a new mom, you’re trying to do it all – trying to care for your newborn, trying to raise any other children/toddlers in the house, trying to be the best wife, trying to keep the house clean, trying to make the best dinners, etc. 

It’s overwhelming. 

And it’s okay to feel this way. 

Social media has placed a stigma on motherhood that makes all of us want to be the perfect mom. To have the baby who is the happiest, takes the best naps, nurses perfectly, never cries, etc. Yes, social media is a great place to share those happy moments. But social media isn’t always real life – it’s what others want you to think about their lives. I’m not saying that there aren’t babies out there who are always happy, rarely cry, and have perfect schedules – because they do exist. But for the majority of new moms, these things aren’t always possible. Add in the raging postpartum hormones and life isn’t always full of sunshine. 

And this is okay. 

One thing that I wish more people would do is ask -- ask a new mom how she’s doing. Yes, we always ask how the baby is doing – but it’s the mom who just went through a life-changing event.  Most of the time, she’ll probably respond “fine”. But ask more than once. Ask how she’s feeling, ask how she’s sleeping, ask how she’s adjusting to life with a baby. 

Most women go back to their OB six weeks after delivering their baby – a lot of feelings can develop within those six weeks.  A mom might be ecstatic one moment and then crying behind the bathroom door the next because their sweet baby has colic. Or because they found themselves struggling with breastfeeding. Or because they are just so tired, they cannot think straight. 

Three weeks after delivering my second daughter Katherine, I developed severe postpartum complications, including hemmoraging and needing multiple surgical procedures. It was a scary time in my life – here I was trying to balance life with an 18 month old toddler and a newborn and before I knew it, I was rushed to the hospital after my doctor discovered retained placenta inside of my uterus. I was lost. I was scared. I didn’t know what was going to happen next. I haven’t really talked about my recovery from these complications, because to be honest, I’m still healing. Yep. I’m over one year postpartum and I still have anxiety. 

So I’m 1 in 7. I’m one of seven women who are dealing with PMAD (perinatal mood or anxiety disorder).

When a women has a baby, she has so many emotions – so ask. Ask her how she’s doing.  Ask her about how the baby is doing.  Ask her what you can do to help her.  Because, moms matter. They are after all, part of the miracle of bringing a baby into the world.  

Disclaimer: If you’re a new mom and you are experience feelings of sadness, being overwhelmed, feeling lost, please seek help from your doctor. It’s nothing to be ashamed of – you are not alone. There are support groups, therapists, and other treatments available.  

Maternal Mental Health facts were gathered from: 
post signature


  1. Thank you for sharing this!! I didn't have PMAD but I cried so much during the newborn days. I love the awareness and the support you are providing through this post!!

    1. It's amazing feeling all of those emotions once your sweet baby is in your arms!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this. I'm currently trying to conceive but just knowing that others feel this way gives me a sort of peace. Social media does pressure others into thinking of the perfect picture of motherhood but when others share their true experiences, I feel like I'm not alone. Thanks again for sharing!

    1. So many hugs on your journey to conceiving! I love social media but I find such joy in sharing the real side of motherhood, even if it includes the dark points!

  3. This is such an important message – thank you for sharing it! The emotions after having a baby are all over the map, and it's so important to know that A) that's OKAY and normal, and B) when to get help.

    1. Yes! It's just so important for women to know that it's OKAY to get help! No one is here to judge!

  4. Thank you for sharing your story. I think it's so important to talk about this topic!

  5. This is so true! The hard part is asking for help because you don't want to feel like a failure as new mom. When I had my first I was depressed. One minute I was happy and the next I was sad. I felt like I was dropped into this whole new world that I knew nothing about. I became a stay at home mom after working 3 jobs and I know my husband and I wanted this baby but I was also self sufficient and having to rely on him for my financial needs was the biggest adjustment in our relationship. It brought a lot of strain.

  6. This is a great post! I did experience anything until this year when I had my third baby. For a few weeks after I was consumed with sadness and guilt. I did have an attachment with him but I definitely dipped into a bit of a depression. Thankfully I have a great support system that helped me get through the rough patch!

  7. Real And Urgent Spell Caster Reviews To Solve Your Relationship Problem Dr Goodluck..
    My mind, for some reason, wont let go of my memory's of My husband after i found out my Husband of 9years had been living a double life and we separated months ago because of him cheating I was totally frustrated and did not know how to bring him back home because i love him so much and have tried all my possible best all to no avail, as i was browsing on the internet i came across a post on YouTube about Dr Goodluck who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contacted him i told him everything and he told me that everything will be fine that my husband is going to come back to me, And he told me all i will need to provide him with and i did and he told me that he is going to cast a returning spell so that my husband will come back, he helped me cast a spell and guarantee me that my husband will come back to me and within 17hours, to my greatest surprise, my husband came back to me and started apologizing, now he has stopped going out with women and he is with me for good and for real. if you have any problem contact Dr Goodluck he is real and always ready to solve your problem, email him on and you can also whatapp him or call with his mobile +2349059610309 and i promise you that he is going to help you with any problem OKay…


  8. Hi,
    I really appreciate your inputs on my situation Dr happy and what could I do with-out you. Thank you in advance.
    I was in a relationship with this guy for the past 1 and a half year.. We became close real fast and were very serious about each other… he’s German and was in the country for her internship.. he left after first 6 months and came back after a couple of months.. he said that he had come down for me.. WE started living – in.. We discussed faMILY, KIDS, future, moving to EU together.. everything was going good until of last August when I started to get jealous about his moves, I got controlling and things started to get worse.. we spoke about it a lot of times where he expressed how he felt but I was not able to understand why I was doing that.. During our discussion I would always say I did .. This February he called it off and since then I have been a mess.. I gave it a lot of thought and realised my mistakes and why I was doing it.. I tried talking to him .. begged him.. pleaded him .. but he says that he has lost all his feelings for me and would never get back to me..I was in my knees praying looking for help, them i fine a comment online how a spell caster help to restored relationship get ex lover back, ” so i decided to give a try coz i love my boyfriend so much. so i contacted Dr happy tell him all my problem and he gave me 100%guarantee that i will have my boyfriend back after the spell so i was gifted and lucky to have contacted him i did every thing he ask of me and to my greatest surprise a day after the spell my boyfriend call me and apology for what he did to me and ask for my forgiveness to come back again for me, we both are happily living together again plz Contact him urgently via.........
    or add him on whats-app +2348133873774
    Junia Noel from USA

  9. Help on How to Get Your Ex wife/husband Back..
    My wife and I have been married for 7 years on November 11th. She recently told me she wasn't in love with me that she loved me more like a friend. She said she wants a divorce that she has been unhappy for a year now. I've been not so good as far as making promises and not keeping them but I have been trying to change and it doesn't seem to work. I love my wife to death and I took my vowels very seriously. I asked her to go to marriage counciling and she said no.we have 4 kids. We agreed to a 2 month break and try to work things out after that. Some of the problems we face are not having our own place to live and may be debt pile up. I really want things to work. The hurt that I feel is killing me and I’m to the point where I don’t eat and rarely drink day i was online and there was one particular testimony I saw, it was about a woman called Silvia Soulez ,she testified about how Dr .Goodluck brought back her Ex lover in less than 17 hours and at the end of her testimony she drop Dr .Goodluck e-mail address. After reading all these,I decided to give Dr .Goodluck a try. I contacted him via email and explained my problems to him. In just the space of 17hours, my wife came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before. Dr .Goodluck is really a talented and gifted man and i will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man…If you have a problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve that problem for you. Try the great Dr .Goodluck today, he will be the answer to your problems. Here’s his contact:
    Email him at: ,
    Call him or add him on whats-app: +2348138654465
    Or on His website:

    He can help with a pranancy spell
    He can help cure HIV
    Help in getting Love back
    Finding your Soul Mate for life
    And so many more.


© A Life of Love and Joy. Made with love by The Dutch Lady Designs.