Wednesday, April 1, 2015

It's Not a Joke

When my husband and I decided in the spring of 2013 to start trying to conceive, neither one us knew what was coming. Like most young, happily married couples, we assumed that once I went off the pill, it would happen right away. That the next month, I wouldn't have a period which would mean that we conceived successfully. Not so easy my friends, not so easy.

In May, I went for my yearly well-women exam and my doctor told me I should discontinue the pill. We wanted to conceive so I could have a June 2014 baby (less time I would have to take off of work). So by going off the pill in May, we figured maybe we would conceive in August or September. June, July, and August rolled around and my period never came. I don't even know how many pregnancy tests I took. Every weekend I would run to Target to buy some. And every time I took one, negative. If you've ever taken a pregnancy test and a negative appeared, you know the heartbreak. You know the pain. 

Irregular periods was something I had experienced up until I went on the pill back in 2007. Prior to going on the pill, my doctor would prescribe Progestrone pills to help induce my period every three months. Since I had been on it multiple times, I called my doctor and she prescribed that for me in August and I took it so I could get my period. Irregular periods could be a symptom of PCOS, but I'll get into that later. She also prescribed Clomid, which is a fertility drug that would help me ovulate. She suspected that since I wasn't getting a period, I probably wasn't ovulating either. I kinda figured this out myself when I was tracking my basal body temperature, taking ovulation prediction tests, and even paying close attention to cervical mucus. I know, TMI - but for those of you who are struggling to conceive, you know what I'm talking about.

Me? Fertility drugs? It isn't supposed to happen that way - at least that's what I cried to my husband about every night in September. I was scared to take it. Scared it wouldn't work. Scared it would result in a chemical pregnancy. Scared it would result in twins. After talking for hours with my husband, we decided that in October, I would take it. Well my friends, some of you know my husband travels on business half of every month and once I took that Clomid and started ovulating, we only had a few days to try to conceive. Fortunately, we were able to time it appropriately (I also was taking home ovulation predictor tests all the time too... Peeing on a stick was becoming a norm in our household). I made an appointment with a fertility specialist at USF/Tampa General, Dr. Plosker. He's one of the best fertility doctors in the area. It took me over two months to get an appointment but I wanted to see someone who could answer our questions. Who could help us get pregnant. All I've ever wanted in life was to become a mommy.

November rolled around I went to see Dr. Plosker. After doing an internal sonogram (not so fun by the way), he shared with me that my ovaries and uterus, along with fallopian tubes were all fine. He mentioned PCOS, but I didn't have all the symptoms - in fact, the only symptom was that I never got a period. After having a lengthy discussion, he was willing to prescribe Clomid again once my period came. A few days later, BAM! I got my period. No point in even taking a pregnancy test then because obviously I wasn't pregnant. My husband and I had a talk and we decided to stop trying to conceive. We wouldn't be using any form of protection, but I wouldn't go back on the pill either. I also wouldn't take the second round of Clomid. We wanted to just relax from all the home ovulation tests, the paying attention to my basal body temperature, etc. We figured God was in charge and when he thought we were ready to be parents, he would bless us. 

Fast forward just a little bit...

It was December 31, 2014. My husband had just picked me up from the airport after being in Buffalo for the holidays.  While I was in Buffalo, I wasn't feeling right - I had a super runny nose (no other cold symptoms), my sense of smell was incredibly intense, and I just felt "off". The second we walked in the door, I ran to the bathroom because out of curiosity, I wanted to take a pregnancy test. 

Say what!?!??! I was shocked. I was bursting with excitement. I was in complete and utter disbelief. I had always envisioned the cutest way to tell Shaun that I was pregnant. But the first thing I did was scream his name. He came running to the bathroom, and with my hands trembling, I showed him the test. It was such an emotional moment. We had tried hard. We had prayed hard. Just when I was beginning to think God didn't want me to be a mom, he took charge and told us that we were ready. After months of trying. Months of fertility tracker calendars. Months of taking ovulation prediction tests. And months of negative pregnancy tests, we finally got our positive. {Our journey wasn't nearly as long as most couples who struggle with infertility - but to us, those were the longest 7 months ever.}

So this is why it's not okay to have "I'm Pregnant!" as an April Fool's Joke. There are far too many happy couples out there who pray every night for the blessing to become parents and far too many of them are unable to have that blessing come true. It's not okay to post "I'm Pregnant!" when you're really not because you never know which one of your friends, or family members, is currently struggling to conceive. While we were on the long road to conception, I would cry on the inside anytime I opened up Facebook and saw that another person I knew was pregnant. While I was happy for them, I was sad on the inside. 

So, today, on April Fool's Day - say a prayer instead. Say a prayer for all of those couples who are struggling to conceive. Say a prayer that God will guide them through their journey and that it will end happy - with a baby being held by mama and dada. Say a prayer for all of those couples who lost a baby early on in pregnancy because of a miscarriage. Or those who had a stillbirth later in their pregnancy. 

But don't pull the "I'm Pregnant" joke today. It's not a joke.

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  1. I agree, I don't think it's funny at all when people joke about that. I think that, unfortunately, unless people have gone through some type of baby-related heartbreak themselves they just don't realize how insensitive it is. When April Fool's Day rolls around every year I just want to lock myself in my house and not have any contact with the outside world, I hate pranks and practical jokes.

  2. Thank you for your encouraging story! I share your feeling about April fools day pregnancy jokes, especially this year. I am so happy for you!

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