Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Support Systems

I've had a fairly easy pregnancy, that is up until week 29 with the whole GD debacle.  I think that's part of the reason why my emotions are running so high and I'm constantly seeking consolation and reassurance from loved ones.  Being the OCD person that I am, I like to control the situation and I expect the desired outcome that I want.  But I'm realizing that pregnancy is different because I have no control over any part of it.  I can't make everything perfect like it was for the first 28 weeks.  I can't make the GD go away (new doctor confirmed I have a slight case of it).  I can't make jelly bean kick me more so I feel calm and reassured that she's okay.  I can't make her the perfect size so I have an easy delivery.  I can't be sure that I will be able to deliver naturally (but with an epidural. Oh yes, give me the epidural) and not need a c-section.  And it's killing me.  

My husband said it perfectly on the phone last night. He said "you have to LET IT GO.  These are all things completely out of your control and you just have to relax."  Even the sonogram technician yesterday told me to stop worrying and to enjoy the last 7 weeks of pregnancy because it's going to go fast.  (This was after I found out our jelly bean seems to have a rather large head - measuring 35w even though I'm only 32 1/2 weeks). A few friends I spoke to on social media said these measurements may not even be accurate and that if something was wrong, they would have told me.  My mom mentioned that as a child she had a big head.  And two of my cousins told me that their sons each have large heads.  I guess big heads run on my side of the family.  Guess it means we're full of brains! :)

But anyways, these conversations got me thinking about the importance of support systems and how without them, I'd be absolutely lost.  Even when my husband is miles and miles away on business trips, he finds the moments to stop his work to call me and try his best to get me to relax.  He had to do this a few times yesterday and each time, his reassuring voice helped me to stay focused on the idea that baby girl will be fine and that in 7 weeks we will be holding her in our arms.  God bless my husband for dealing with me these days.  My pregnancy emotions were fine up until around 4 weeks ago and every since then, he has the patience of a saint and the ability to just say the right things.  I cry at the drop of a hat these days and he just seems to roll with it.  (I often wonder if he's happy when he gets sent out of town because he get's a break from his over-emotional wife, LOL.)

Even just talking to friends and family via text message or through social media helps me feel better about what's been going on lately.  It's amazing how a simple message from a loved one can help me see the bigger, more important picture in all of this - we are having a baby.  Not everyone gets to have a baby.  Not everyone is lucky to be in a committed relationship and have an abundant amount of love.  Not everyone gets the chance to go through the miracle that pregnancy is.  But we do.  We are one of the lucky ones. We may have struggled with trying at first, but God gave us the miracle we had been praying for and it's up to us to be strong enough to make it through anything.

What do people do without a support system like this? I couldn't imagine going through this without the never ending love of my husband and family and friends.  My mom is coming next week and she couldn't be coming at a better time.  Family and friends are what keep me focused on the important things and help me to remind myself that everything will be okay.  My cousin is constantly telling me "Hakuna Matata" and I think I need to start chanting it every morning.  And afternoon.  And evening.  

I do believe it's time I have a reality check and count my blessings instead of worrying.  This is a big challenge for me since I am such a worry wart, but for the next 7 weeks, I have to be strong.  Strong for baby jelly bean.  Strong for myself so I can manage to not have any meltdowns.  Strong enough to know that everything is going to be just fine.  I need to have faith.  Faith in God.  Faith in myself.  Faith in the medical care I'm receiving (new doctor is amazing and I'm so thankful I switched practices).  Faith in our little jelly bean that she's doing just fine in there.  Faith than in 7 weeks, we will be holding a happy and healthy baby girl. 

Amazing how I can get these words out.  It would be even more amazing if I can follow them and just enjoy these last 7 weeks!  I will try.  I will give it a valid effort.  It may not be easy, but that's why I have a support system.  

Simply Blessed,

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